In August of 2021, I drove from Phoenix to LA ready to start the recording of a several year long journey of growth and expansion. At the time, I had no idea that that’s what I was doing – all I knew was that I was about to get a tattoo on the back of my calf that represented some kind of protective spiritual cocoon that the artist, Justine, saw spinning around me in a meditation session we had done several months prior. That might sound a little ‘out-there’ to some people but I was fully in it and ready for the whole experience. I felt like I was at the beginning of a whole lot of journeys and I trusted the idea that I needed and wanted to feel some kind of protection and grounding going into whatever those were. She created the tattoo starting on my left Achilles to represent grounding into the earth and it grew up from there, with leaves and circles spinning to create that cocoon look and feel. It turned out absolutely gorgeous and ended up being one of the most meaningful tattoos I had gotten so far.
At that particular time in my life, I was at the beginning of a relationship that would teach me a whole lot about myself and about expansion and freedom within myself and within relationships. I didn’t realize it but that grounding and protection that Justine had mentioned was something that I was going to have to lean hard into over the next year and half or so. There were a lot of moments of losing myself and then finding myself and rebuilding who I was and then losing myself again and repeating that until I felt like I was coming out on the other side as an entirely new human. Looking back on it now, the idea that that tattoo represented a cocoon was pretty damn spot on.
A few months later, in November, I was heading back to LA for Justine to start another tattoo that would cover my entire left arm. This time I really had no idea what I was going to get but I did know that I wanted it to represent the blend of masculine and feminine that I embodied. I knew that I wanted to show the beauty that can come from pain. And, as I drove there, I realized that I really wanted it to symbolize the concept of reclaiming myself as well. I had lost myself entirely a few years prior during my divorce and I was in the middle of that losing myself and rebuilding myself pattern that I mentioned above. Justine asked me what my intentions were for it this time so I told her all of that and then she started to sketch and draw on my arm.
Her process really is beautiful and her ability to create something meaningful from just a few words is so damn impressive. She combined sharp lines and shapes with soft lines and shapes, creating the most beautiful representation of the ability to flow between masculine and feminine. She was able to create a beautiful piece of art (again) that came from the pain of getting it done but in the softest of ways. And she started the tattoo at my ring finger on my left hand to represent that reclaiming of self that has become a symbol on my body that I look to often when I start to lose myself again.
Those first two sessions with her totaled to about 12 hours – 4 hours for my calf and 5 hours on day 1 for arm plus 3 hours on day 2 for my arm. I didn’t think that my time sitting in a tattoo shop would be as imperative to my journey to becoming the person I am today, but those 12 hours definitely have helped guide me into the person I wanted to become. They’re so intricate that I honestly notice something new about them randomly still to this day, which I love because it’s almost like the tattoos reveal themselves more and more as time goes on and as I continue to grow as a person.
Sometimes experiences that we go through or people that we meet end up being a pivotal part of our story without us realizing it until after the fact. Little did I know that a random conversation with a new friend about their experience with an intuitive tattoo artist would lead me down a road toward self discovery, self reclamation, and opening my heart and mind to new level of freedom and expression. Part of the beauty and the struggle of these tattoos was not knowing exactly what I was going to get – especially with my arm. I’ve been the type of person who always wants to be in control of myself so the idea of walking into a tattoo shop without knowing exactly what is going to be permanently put on my body was scary as hell. But giving into the unknown and giving into the freedom of going with whatever happens and accepting the beauty of that, was a lesson that I didn’t realize I needed to learn. An important part of this is also that Justine is a safe and welcoming (and super talented) human. Giving into the go-with-the-flow energy and trusting an artist with what ended up being about half of my body – a post about parts 3 and 4 of this whole tattoo experience is coming soon – only worked because of who Justine is as a human and as an artist. She’s someone I’ll forever be grateful to have met and to have trusted with such an important part of my story.
Until next time,
Chelsea
CKB Coaching, LLC 