This pride month has felt very different than any other pride month I’ve experienced in the last 20 years. It’s felt heavy, numbing, saddening, angering. I’ve personally experienced and seen more blatant bigotry and discrimination in the last several months than I had the previous several years. The empowerment of hate that’s becoming more and more prevalent is disturbing. No matter how much disappointment, disapproval, or hate you hold towards us, we are who we are and you can’t and won’t change that. All the lack of acceptance of yours does is push families and friends further apart and I know that that’s not what everyone wants. Some people want us dead and gone, yes – that’s become obvious… but I have to have hope that not everyone who doesn’t accept us feels that way. To be a queer kid out there right now, growing up and seeing what’s happening in our country must be scary. I’ve gotten to know more parents of queer kids lately and seeing their unwavering love and support and the fight they have in their hearts for their kids to be able to protect them from a society that wants to erase them and let them live their lives how they want and need has been one of the most beautiful things I could have asked for in this time of what feels like a spiraling darkness. I know that there are people out there standing up for us, fighting for us, and loving us through everything that’s happening and I have to keep reminding myself of that. If you love someone who’s gay, trans, queer, anything… love them first and foremost. Even if you don’t agree or understand, remind them that you love them. Second, if you can – show them that you love them. Put effort into understanding and into learning acceptance and into loving them not despite who they are but because of who they are. I have my fair share of people in my life who love me despite my queerness and that’s not good enough for me anymore. I want people in my life who have that unwavering love and support that I’ve seen in some people lately. One of the reasons why we’re moving to Portland is because Phoenix doesn’t feel safe anymore and Portland feels like a place where I can actually breathe and be me. I wish I could stay and fight in Phoenix but I’ve hit my limit after 20 years of being openly queer here. I’ll be fighting from a place where I’ll be going back to school so that I can be a therapist for queer and gender non conforming people, where I’m surrounded by people who want to cure this virus of hate with love and acceptance, where I can get married without fear of judgement and pushback, and where I can just be me. I’ve always heard that our existence is a form of resistance and that queer joy and happiness is a message of hope in itself. I’ve never felt those two things more than I have lately. My existence lately has felt a lot like trudging through muddy waters of people who can’t seem to see and understand the truth but I won’t stop moving forward. I’ll continue to be a voice for people who aren’t safe enough to have a voice for as long as I can.
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