I’ve spent more time in the darkness than in the light in this life.
As much as the darkness makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry or completely turn everything off
It feels like my most fitting home.
I’m comfortable there.
It holds me and protects me in the coldest of ways.
It removes expectations and hope, therefore removes disappointment.
It removes love, therefore removes loss and grief.
The darkness is hard and also so fucking easy.
I can sit and feel at peace despite the storm of life and light raging above me, calling to me.
Why climb out when sitting here and giving up is really the easiest thing to do.
I know I’ll eventually stand up and start clawing my way out, but fuck…
I just want to sit here and breathe this cold, hard, and oddly comforting air.
Breath after breath of the most uncanny peace.
Just for a little bit and then I’ll stand up and fight the same battle I’ve fought so many times before.
And then I’ll come back and breathe again some day because sooner or later, I always come back to this dark and strange home of mine.
